Monday, September 23, 2002

Hello it's me again and today is Monday. I just figured out how to publish my first entry so that went up today. lol. oops. Well, My weekend went real well, we celebrated my dad's birthday on Sunday and both of my sisters came into town. Ethan and I spent the night at my parents house and that was interesting, my sister Emily fed him and everything so that I could get some rest. It didn't work as well as I would have hoped because I always wake up everytime he makes a sound. Matt is sitting behind me right now, he spent all afternoon playing a video game with one of his friends. I think he maybe got up for two seconds MAYBE..... it's now about 12:04 and Ethan is still sleeping. I am going to stay up until he eats next which I am hoping will be soon. School starts in 2 days!! ahhhh, I still feel like I don't have anything to wear. I only have one pair of jeans. Ok matt went into the bedroom and is sitting there. I think he is mad at me. I will have to leave ya hanging. bye for now

Friday, September 20, 2002

Hello there everyone. This is my first entry. I am now sitting at one of the many computers in the basement. Ethan, my 7 week old son, is behind me swinging in his swing. He just went through a screaming spell and he wouldn't quiet down for anything. I think he went back to sleep because he had worn himself out. I officially became a mom on August 1, 2002 at precisely 1:10 p.m. Ethan weighed 7lbs 3oz and was 20 inches long. Believe me, having a baby is just like they show on TV. I had an epidural so it wasn't bad at all, but I can say that I greatly admire the women out there who go natural. I don't think I could have done that at all. I live with my boyfriend Matt who is a year older than me, and his parents. They are really great, but sometimes they can get on my nerves. My thinking is that no matter who they are, they can get on your nerves. I started out breastfeeding and in the hopital is wasn't bad at all, the nurses would keep the baby in the nursery and then bring him to me when he got hungry. Once I got home however, BOOM............I about died. Breastfeeding is really demanding, especially when you are still feeling like you got ran over by a truck. So after about 2 weeks of just breastfeeding I tried a hand pump and that seemed to work so much better because then other people could feed him and I could get a break every once in awhile. Handpumping took about 45 minutes for me to get enough out. Gosh, you never realize how a tiny itty bitty baby is going to change your life. My boyfriend didn't think that he would, and now I finally think he is realizing it because of how much I have changed. Now I have an electric pump and he is getting about 2 bottles of formula a day. I felt so guilty that I wasn't able to successfully breastfeed. I got my share of the blues, when I would just cry and cry and cry. Ethan is still getting breastmilk to this day and I am very happy about that. He is only using bottles though. Sometimes my life seems so hectic. I have tons of new things to think about and to plan. Having a child changes your whole aspect on life. I used to be focused on looking good for going out somewhere with Matt, and now I am lucky if I get to fix my hair or brust my teeth. My second year of college is starting here this coming Wednesday. I will be a full time student and going to school everyday. M W F from 12-3 and Tues. Thur. from 11-12:15. Not that bad of a schedule but still. I always feel like I don't have time to clean out "house" in the basement much less have homework on top of that. I have no idea how I am going to get it all done. Plus.......of top of that there is going back to work to think about. WhEW! what to do!! ????? well, I just called my parents house to see if my younger sister Jessica was there. I am traveling the half hour trip to go see the homecoming parade. I have to definitly be there before 5 because they close down the streets and everything. Ethan will probably wake up soon and be hungry. Another thing that I forgot to mention..........becoming sleep deprived. LOL that is definitely me (by the way if you haven't noticed, I am not the world's greatest speller) :) Some nights I just get so annoyed everytime he wakes up or if he just won't go back to sleep or whatever. It's hard to get used to and now that he is doing better, especially last night, I find it easier and easier to look forward to getting up with him at night. Besides, one thing that makes all the annoyed feelings go away, is everytime you see him look at you and smile. That just takes your breath away. Ok, back to the homecoming starts at 6 and then after that I don't think I am going to the football game. That's just to long and i don't feel like I should leave Ethan here with Matt's parents for that long. The tomorrow, I am going down to my house again and spending the night with Ethan this time. My family is celebrating my dad's birthday on Sunday and my sisters are coming home for that too. That will be fun. Well, I think I have written quite enough. I had better get off here and start warming up Ethan's bottle. That way he won't start yelling and trying to eat my arm off :) He is the cutest baby boy in the world.